I was pretty bitter and heartbroken when I found out about my husband's affair especially since it had gone on for so long and almost under my nose. We had a child and we were not very happy before he left but even so I felt so totally betrayed. The divorce process lasted a while. Initially we needed restraining orders and we agreed on them so we did not need to battle it out in court. The orders were a good idea in our case as it kept us away from each other except to deal with our child.
Over time the dust settled and although it was very hard for me to get over the end of the marriage (he had his new interest and several after that one) I eventually came to terms with the whole thing. I guess I lost most of my anger in one year after he left. It's taken approximately 4 years for me to feel totally recovered. I absolutely do not want him back, in fact, I am now glad I'm not with him. We get along reasonably well which is very important for our child. When I say reasonably well there are still things about him I don't like and issues we cannot discuss - so be it. The important thing is our child. It is better sometimes that we keep communication between us to a minimum and we tend to know when that is and when to stay away from each other.
I hope people reading this will realize that although getting divorced is painful there is no need to let it run your life and for the sake of your children, please don't let it run your emotions.
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